In recent months I've been to a couple of reunions and met up with some old friends from college. This has got me thinking about the nature of friendship.
When I was in primary school I had several best friends. They changed on a fairly regular basis but there were about 3 who remained friends right through primary school. We went to each others birthday parties, played together in the playground, played at each others houses during school holidays. When we went to secondary school we lost touch and now they are vague memories and disembodied names. Should I be sad about this? Maybe. But the person I was at age 7, 8 or 9 bears no relation to who I am now so those friends were fine as a young child but might not do for the adult me.
At secondary school I found it hard to make friends at first. There were so many new faces and so many girls at the school that I felt overwhelmed at first. Soon I made new friends, some that stayed throughout the secondary school years and some that were more temporary/transient. We grew up together, fell in and out of love together, laughed, cried and shared secrets together. It was an intense time as only teenage years can be. Yet when we left school for university or college hardly any of those relationships survived. Does that mean they weren't real friendships? I don't think so. They were real and intense and hugely important at a formative time in all our lives.
College friendships were different. We all lived in very close proximity to each other for 4 years and went through many experiences. We learnt to fend for ourselves, to mature, to learn tough lessons about life. Some of those friends are still friends now. We don't see each other as often as we should but when we do get together it's as if we've never been apart. Maybe the fact that these are friendships of maturity makes it easier to sustain them. In essence we are still the same people we were back then, even though we may have more lines and grey hairs these days!
If pushed to name my best friend though I'd choose my sister. She's always there for me, totally honest with me (not always appreciated!), makes me proud, shares memories of our parents that make us laugh and cry and I know I could turn to her for help, support and love whatever happened. Fro that I thank her from the bottom of my heart.
Who'd your best friend?
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